Called to Serve (Part 13): You Don't Need a Collar to Show Up
Called to Serve: My Life as a Chaplain
Part 13 — You Don't Need a Collar to Show Up
When the appointment as Chaplain was first raised, my first instinct wasn't gratitude. It was hesitation.
I already carried a full teaching load. I knew the administrative responsibilities the role would bring. And beneath those practical concerns was a quieter, harder one: a nagging sense that I was still becoming the person the appointment would require me to be.
I had counselled people through doubt. I hadn't expected to find myself wrestling with my own.
I even drafted, in my head, a polite way to decline. I could explain that the timing wasn't ideal, that I wanted to serve the role well rather than take it on half-heartedly. That was true, but it wasn't the whole truth.
The whole truth was closer to fear.
What the Hesitation Revealed
What changed my thinking wasn't a sudden burst of confidence. It was a memory.
I thought back to the hallway conversations that had appeared throughout Arc One of this series: the student who stayed behind after class, the quiet word in a corridor, the conversation that never made it onto anyone's calendar.
Those moments had happened long before a formal appointment entered the picture.
I began to see that I wasn't simply being asked to become someone new. I was being entrusted with a formal responsibility that connected with something I had already been learning through years of teaching, listening, and serving others.
The hesitation wasn't necessarily evidence that I was unqualified. It was also a sign that I understood the weight of what I was being asked to carry. Recognising that weight and being unable to carry it are not the same thing.
That distinction matters.
The title and the calling are not the same thing. One is conferred. The other is practised, often long before anyone notices.
Where This Leaves the Rest of Us
I want to be careful here, because it would be easy to overstate the point.
Chaplaincy is a vocation with defined responsibilities, boundaries, and accountability. A formal appointment matters, and I do not take mine lightly. The practices of presence, attentive listening, and compassionate service, however, are not confined to those who hold the title.
Think of the teacher who notices that a student has grown unusually quiet. The manager who makes room for an employee to talk about a difficult week instead of immediately offering solutions. The parent who resists the urge to lecture because a child needs to be heard first.
None of these people needs to claim the title of chaplain to practise attentiveness, compassion, and responsible care.
This is also where my Christian faith speaks to me. Galatians 5:13 calls believers to serve one another humbly in love. Service is not merely a position we occupy or a responsibility someone assigns us. It is also expressed in the choices we make about how we treat people.
Sometimes it happens in a formal role. Sometimes it happens in an ordinary conversation, in a corridor, or in a moment when someone needs us to pay attention.
Arc One was my attempt to tell the story of how I came to understand chaplaincy from the inside. In this second arc, I want to take some of what I have learnt and offer it outward—not to make everyone a chaplain, but to explore how the practices associated with chaplaincy can help us serve others more thoughtfully in our everyday lives.
We all occupy different spaces. The question is what we do with the opportunities for care that those spaces bring.
A Practical Lesson
You don't need a title to begin practising attentive care.
This week, notice one person in your ordinary routine—a colleague, a student, a friend, or a family member—who might need you to stay present a little longer than usual.
Put aside the urge to solve the problem immediately. Listen without preparing your response while the other person is still speaking. If they do not want to talk, respect that too.
You may not have the answer they need. You may not even be able to change their circumstances. But you can offer your attention without pretending to have all the answers.
Sometimes, that is where meaningful service begins.
A Question to Sit With This Week
Where in your life have you already been practising attentive, compassionate service without ever calling it that?
I'd love to hear your reflections in the comments below. What does showing up for someone look like in your own everyday life?
Next week: “The Art of the Non-Anxious Presence”—what staying steady in someone else's crisis actually requires.
This is Part 13 of “Called to Serve: My Life as a Chaplain” and the opening reflection of Arc Two: “Chaplaincy for the Rest of Us.” Arc One (Parts 1–12) explored my journey of formation and service as a chaplain. Read the final reflection of Arc One in Part 12 — What Remains, or explore the full series on the Called to Serve Hub.
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